Roslyn wasn’t sure how things had gotten out of hand so quickly. She had agreed to meet him at her apartment one last time, but her decision had been made and the relationship was over. But the next thing she knew, she was confused and waking up in her own blood. He had done whatever he wanted to her without her consent, and she was left to pick up the pieces.
As Roslyn drove herself to the hospital with her son in the car, she was exhausted, emotional, and sore. She couldn’t understand what had just happened to her. Why did he become so angry and aggressive? How was she possibly going to face him at work on Monday? How could someone who was once so charming become so violent? When she arrived, everything seemed like a blur of sexual assault exams, police reports, and detective interviews. In the midst of everything, all she could think of was how terrified she was to see him on Monday.
“It was consensual until it wasn’t. In hindsight, he was very charming,
persuasive, and manipulative.”
When Monday came, Roslyn tried to get off the elevator but fear literally stopped her in her tracks. It took everything in her to file an HR report where he was then investigated and terminated. And when he was gone, there were still reminders of him everywhere. She started having panic attacks and would get physically ill when there was any mention of him, and when she realized that she could not escape the trauma he had inflicted on her, she made the hard decision to leave her job and comforts of seven years.
As each day passed, she felt more alone, increasingly depressed, and knew she needed help. She found a folder of information and resources that had been given to her at the hospital and the call she made to Alexandra House was the beginning of the support she needed to bridge her old world, turned completely upside down, with her new world as a survivor.
“Alexandra House provided me with an advocate who supported me through
so many tough processes where I always left feeling hopeful,
empowered, seen, and heard.”
When the day came to face her abuser court, her advocate helped ease her mind by explaining every step and reassuring her that she was not alone. Her advocate shared all the possible outcomes, answered questions that she had, and provided space to process her feelings while encouraging Roslyn with positive words and empowering affirmations. Roslyn’s perpetrator was found guilty and immediately taken into custody. It was a relief to know he was behind bars and that he couldn’t hurt anyone else.
With the help of her advocate, through the support group, and by attending therapy, Roslyn gained an understanding of her trauma and increased her self-worth through positive affirmations, and learned ways to gently care for herself. She processed difficult emotions and gained new coping skills to help manage them. She was able to gain back some of the strength and courage that had slipped away after her assault and was filled with immense gratitude knowing that she didn’t have to face the trauma of her assault alone. That gave her the hope and the confidence she needed to keep moving forward.
“Alexandra House was the light when my world turned dark and a
soft place to land when I needed it the most.”
Did you know that one in five women will experience rape in her lifetime? Nearly half of female victims reported being raped by an intimate partner while another 40.8% experienced victimization by an acquaintance. Unfortunately, number one on the list of possible attackers is someone who has a very intimate relationship with the victim. Statistics on rape indicate that this intimate connection often results in most rape victims shying away from reporting the assault due to obligatory or emotional pressures. Sexual assaults are on the rise throughout the whole of the United States. On average, state by state comparative analysis (including rape statistics by race data) shows that there are approximately 325,566 victims of rape and sexual assault (age 12 or older) in the United States every year. Programs working to end this violence provide critical support in times of crisis and are integral to the health and safety of communities across the state. Sexual violence services are especially vital to ensuring the public safety of all communities across Minnesota.
We’re so grateful for the community that has funded, volunteered, celebrated, and advocated for Alexandra House through the years. At a time when everything continues to feel uncertain, we find comfort and encouragement knowing that you care about our cause. Our programs continue to be on the front lines of supporting our most vulnerable community members. Now, more than ever, Alexandra House is relying on our community to ensure we are here to serve those who need us most.
We have been fortunate enough to receive a generous $25,000 matching grant from an anonymous donor! That means every gift (up to $25,000) received
by 12/31 will be doubled!
If you consider a year-end contribution to Alexandra House by joining our Luminary Society, our treasured community of monthly donors, your gift will not only be a sustainable way to support victims of domestic and sexual violence, but will also have twice the impact! While all of us are facing great challenges at this time, we hope that you can find some peace knowing that because of your generosity you are creating a community of support, a safe way forward, and a future free from violence. The critical support of sustained giving will enable us to continue to serve our community and ensure that survivors like Roslyn can build safer and more stable lives as we take one step closer to a future free from violence together. However, you choose to give, it is deeply appreciated and will help strengthen our community so that we may, one day, see an end to domestic and sexual violence. Please take a moment to make your contribution today. If you have given recently, thank you so much for your support!
On behalf of all of us at Alexandra House, thank you for being a part of our community. We wish you and your family health, safety, and happiness and want you to know that together, we can overcome all things.
As you consider the size of your year-end gift, please think about the magnitude of the challenge our community is facing:
- In 8 out of 10 rape cases, the victim knew the perpetrator.
- Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted.
- One out of six American women and one in 33 American men has been victims of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.